Thursday Thirteen#42

My husband and I just spent the last week and a half watching season three of House. We only came to the show this summer and have thoughly enjoyed it. One of my favourite things about it, is House’s sarcastic nature. I thought for this week’s Thursday Thirteen, I’d post thriteen of my favourite House quotes!

1. Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It’s not gonna happen.

2. Dr. Gregory House: How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?

3. [someone is groaning in the restroom stall]
Dr. Gregory House: Good lord, are you having a bowel movement or a baby?

4. Anica Jovanovich: You know, I was going to ask what a respectable doctor was doing in an OTB parlor… somehow, that question doesn’t seem relevant any more.
Dr. Gregory House: What’s your excuse?
Anica Jovanovich: Turns me on.
Dr. Gregory House: What else turns you on? Drugs? Casual sex? Rough sex?
[pause]
Dr. Gregory House: Casual rough sex? I’m a doctor, I need to know

5. Dr. Robert Chase: How’d you like it if I interfered in your personal life?
Dr. Gregory House: I’d hate it. That’s why, cleverly, I have no personal life.

6. Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I need you to wear your lab coat.
Dr. Gregory House: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you. Like half your age.

7. Dr. Gregory House: Like I always say, there’s no “I” in team. There’s a “me” though, if you jumble it up.

8. Dr. Gregory House: I’m extremely disappointed. I send you out for exciting, new designer drugs, you come back with tomato sauce.

9. Dr. Gregory House: I take risks, sometimes patients die, but not taking risks causes more patients to die – so I guess my biggest problem is I’ve been cursed with the ability to do the math.

10. Dr. Gregory House: I teach you to lie, cheat, and steal, and as soon as my back’s turned you wait in line?

11. Dr. Wilson: Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?
Dr. Gregory House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.

12. Dr. Gregory House: Would the world be a better place if people never felt guilty? Makes sex better. Shoulda seen her in the last months of our relationship. Lot of guilt. *Lot* of screaming.

13. [House opens door loudly]
Dr. Wilson: Ahh!
Dr. Gregory House: Nineteen year old, didn’t want to hear the coolest explanation of why she’s going to die… begged me to shut up!
Dr. Gregory House: [slams the door]
Dr. Wilson: [cringes] Well, if you cant shut up, at least talk quietly.
Dr. Gregory House: [turns on lights] Anphedamine withdrawel’s a bitch. She thought, that I was HAPPY!
[stares at wilson]
Dr. Wilson: You were, happy?
Dr. Gregory House: NO! I was hazy! And I dont get HAZY on vicodin, or anything else I throw down… Which means, I was throwing down something that I didn’t know I was throwing down. And that got me to wondering, why didn’t you give me those HAPPY pills?
Dr. Wilson: I told you, you gotta be checked out by…
Dr. Gregory House: NO! You just didn’t want me double-dosing!
Dr. Gregory House: [wilson looks embarressed] YOU DOSED ME! Those coffees…
Dr. Wilson: They worked! You’ve been smiling, relaxed, happy!
Dr. Gregory House: A dying girl thought I was happy… a MORON thought I was happy! Who the hell doesn’t want to know she’s dying?
Dr. Wilson: House… was HAPPY.
Dr. Gregory House: HAZY!
Dr. Wilson: HAPPY.